Dear Menstrual Cycle,

Well played...well played.

Love,
Debby

Dear House That Needs To Be Packed Up By June 2nd,

I know I was procrastinating for taking classes, celebrating finishing classes, looking for a new place to live, getting my nails done etc. and generally staring at the ceiling in avoidance but …can I get a rain check? American Idol is on tonight.

Love,
Lisa

Dear Bachelor,

There are no words to explain why you didn't pick the blonde in last night's episode.

Oh, except these: Tramp Stamp.

Love,
Jeremy

Dear What Not To Wear,

I could look good too if I had two personal shoppers, $5000 and a tailor. Please call me. I won't be offended.

Love,
Leslie

Dear Future Husband,

If it's not too inconvenient for you, could we please meet this summer?

Love,
Jackie

Dear Producers Of Greys Anatomy,

What are you doing to my heart? I don't know if I can make it all summer, but I love you too much to let go.

Love,
Sarah

Dear Parent Who Put Their Non-English Speaking Child In School 3 Weeks Before School Gets Out In A Grade That The Child Has Already Passed,

My babysitting rate it $1,000,000 an hour.

Love,
Lisa

Dear Buffet,

Vegetable lasagna is not lasagna. Call Stouffer's, I am sure they would agree.

Love,
Jeremy

Dear Favorite Chocolate Brown Slacks,

Why must your zipper get stuck each and every time I have to pee?

Love,
Dixie

Dear Husband Who Has The Week Off And Is In Charge Of Cooking,

Frozen pizzas and fudgesicles don't count.

Love,
Sarah T.

Dear Manhood,

Last week I found out "Gilmore Gilrs" had been cancelled and it made me sad. When exactly did you leave me and why didn't you tell me?

Love,
Michael

Dear Walgreens Onling Store-Finding System,

I asked you for the closest location, and you gave me the 62 closest locations. Can you tell me where I cannot find a location?

Love,
Greg

Dear Ex-Boyfriend Who Said I Was Too Young For You,

Your new girlfriend who is a year younger than me doesn't do much to support your reason for dumping me.

Love,
Morgan

Dear Victoria's Secret Catalogues,

I'm not even a woman, and I feel fat when I thumb though you.

Love,
Greg

Dear Blockbuster,

Normally I'm annoyed by your 2-Day rental deadline, but for "Alpha Dog" you should have made it a 2-Hour deadline so I wouldn't have had the chance to watch it.

Love,
Greg

Dear Mom Who Suggested Buying Me Contacts For My Birthday Because I Can't Afford Them And Need New Ones Since The Old Ones Have Scratched My Eyeball,

Why don't you love me?

Love,
Rachel

Dear NBC's The Office,

Why, oh why, couldn't have I gotten hooked on you AFTER finals?

Love,
Joanna

Dear Old Asian Guy Who Said My Ponytail Was Cute,

Thanks....and we're walking faster...

Love,
Katie

Dear All Male Occupants of the Frat House Down The Street From My Apartment,

When I left for work the morning of Cinco de Mayo, you all looked very dapper in your bow ties and loafers while standing around in your front yard drinking. When I returned that afternoon, you looked equally impressive shirtless and still going strong on those kegs. I am sure any female presence would have ruined the entire experience.

Love,
Michael

Dear Laziness,

I think you've won. The jawbreaker for breakfast just put me over the edge.

Love,
Liza

Dear My Grad School Colleagues And Faculty,

High school called. They want their drama back.

Love,
Jenniac

Dear Four Year Old Cousin,

When you posed for pictures on Easter Sunday giving Grandpa a hug, you broke my cute-o-meter. I expect you to pay for a new one.

Love,
Michael

Dear Global Warming,

85 degrees in April...I'm still not completely sold.

Love,
Michael

Dear Over Attentive Mother We Housesat For,

Thank you for pointing out where the refigerator, microwave, dishwasher, sink, pantry, and every light switch was in your kitchen. I don't know how I would have made it through the weekend!

Love,
Liza