Dear Man Who Likes To Ride His Bike Around Town In A Thong,

I hope there is never an emergency where I have to borrow your bike for a while.

Love,
Marie

Dear Cute Girl Who Smiled And Waved Enthusiastically As I Was Driving By,

I'm sure you just mistook me for someone else, but that brightened my day. Thank you.

Love,
Andrew

Dear Women Jogging In The Park While Smoking A Cigarette,

No, it doesn't even out.

Love,
Laura

Dear U.S. Post Office Who Won’t Guaranteed 2 Day Delivery, But Will Charge Extra For Trying,

Way to be there.

Love,
John

Dear Retiring Co-Worker,

I will miss you, but not as much as I'll miss the free alcohol provided at the company luncheon to commemorate your departure.

Love,
Lucas

Dear Wal-Mart,

Of course someone farted in the bean aisle.

Love,
Katie

Dear Cocktail With Organic Goji Berries, Locally Grown Limes, Himalayan Crystal Salt, Organic Raw Agave Nectar aaaaand Tequila,

Is that 'Granola' for Strawberry Margarita?

Love,
Marie

Dear Florida Lottery,

Why don't you like my kids' birthdays?

Love,
Rod

Dear Housemates,

I regret to inform you that my milkshake no longer brings all the boys to the yard. I am lactose intolerant.

Love,
T.O.

Dear Woman Walking Into Sex and The City With Two Children Under 10,

Yes, I am judging you.

Love,
Kristin

Dear Boss Who Doesn't Pay Attention To The Suggestions Spell Check Offers,

I know you really mean "inconvenience" but please stop trying to pay me for "incontinence." I really don't pee on myself.

Love,
Valerie

Dear 2 Year Old Daughter,

Why must you ask why?
Why, why, why?!?!?!

Love,
Karen (aka: Mom)

Dear Woman At The Bar Who Took Her Shirt Off And Swung It Around About Her Head When The Celtics Won,

And now I've seen it all.

Love,
Katie

Dear Deck Of Cards,

You're lucky I don't have a TV.

Love,
Marie

Dear Sex And The City (The Movie),

How many women do you think watched you and immediately went out and bought a new pair of shoes?

I know I did.

Love,
Marie