Dear Monday Night Spent Watching The Bachelor Pad & E! Fashion Police,

If I had a boyfriend, I'd be really annoying right now.

Love,
Katie

Dear Starbucks Pumpkin Spice,

Welcome back old friend! I missed you!...no I missed you more!...no, no I missed YOU more!

Love,
Katie

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Dear Guy Who Applied for Our Sales Opening by Emailing a Resume and Photo of his Crotch,

Not sold.

Love,
Marie

Dear Free Coffee In The Dentists Office Waiting Room,

Something about this situation doesn't seem right.

Love,
Katie

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Dear Amount of Calories in the Packet of Jalepeno Smokehouse Almonds I Just Ate,

Funny, thats exactly how many calories I burned on the elliptical this morning. Which actually doesn't seem funny anymore, now that I think about it.

Love,
Marie

Dear Reality Steve,

Did ABC lure you to their side to spread false info, did they masterfully create a trail of lies for you to follow, did your sources really not know about Ali and Roberto, did... Dammit I can't believe I just used my brain for that.

Love,
Marie

Dear Chris From The Bachelorette,

SWF in Fayetteville, AR seeks you.

Love,
Katie