Dear California,

You know how you think you're better than all those other states because you spurn central AC? Well, you're not.

Love,
Sarah

Dear Bad Joke Telling Dentist,

This brings a whole new meaning to "captive audience".

Love,
Scott

Dear Nashville Pool Of Men,

I've lost all faith in you.

Love,
Lauren

P.S. Thank God for cats.

Dear Topher Grace,

Good thing you left “That 70’s Show” so you could kick-start your blooming movie career. Hey, how’s that going anyway?

Love,
Greg

Dear Close Talker,

Tic-Tac?

Love,
Lora

Dear Wild Oats Boulder Trail Mix,

Why must you surrender all nutionary value by being doused in sugar?

Love,
Jordan

Dear Friend Of A Co-Worker,

No, I mean…It's totally normal to get completely naked and rub mustard all over your body in a crowded party cove on the lake. So normal.

Love,
Sarah

Dear Oregon,

You may not have Katie. She is obligated to at least one more season of kickball.

Love,
The Flying Squirrels

Dear Monday Night Television,

You are completely useless.

Love,
Russ

Dear Double Chin,

I haven’t heard from you in months, so why suddenly show up at the license branch?

Love,
Greg

Dear Rachel Ray of '30 Minute Meals',

Has anyone ever told you that you look like a human version of Princess Fiona after she turns into an ogre?

Love,
Marie

Dear Halloween Display In The Cracker Barrell General Store,

I'm sorry. I thought it was July 24th.

Love,
Katie

Dear Task Of Filing,

It's not you. It's me.

Love,
Casey

Dear Quiet Stroll In The Publix Parking Lot This Afternoon,

I'm sorry you were interrupted by a crazy lady screaming "WHATEVER!!!" at the top of her lungs with no one around but me.

(Sing it) AWKWARD.

Love,
Vanessa

Dear Speed Checked By Aircraft Sign,

Then why was there a cop with a radar gun 50 feet behind you?

Love,
Marie

Dear Friend Who Dislikes Princess Bride,

Inconceivable!

Love,
Steph

Dear DC Office Of Traffic And Parking / My US History TA From 3 Years Ago,

You love to see me fail.

Love,
Marie

Dear Reader Who Submitted A Letter That Read "Dear Life, Stop Sucking",

Is this a cry for help? Do we need to talk?

Love,
Katie

Dear Songwriter Guy At The Bar Tonight Who Asked Me: "So Are You Going To Say ANYTHING?!",

Are you going to stop talking about yourself for 2 seconds?

Love,
Katie

Dear Taz,

I think you are officially a has-been.

Love,
Marie