Dear Katie,

You put the 'busy' in 'busyness school'.

Love,
Marie

Dear Marketing People Behind Blockbuster Rewards Program,

You got $10, I got nothing. Congratulations. You won.

Love,
Marie

Dear Trashcan At Work,

You need to teach my trashcan at home how you magically empty yourself every night.

Love,
Marie

Dear Rental Car Agent Who Told Me To "Humble Myself And Get The Smallest Available Car To Save Money",

Do I know you?

Love,
Marie

Dear Sarah Palin,

Oh where to begin, where to begin!

Love,
Marie

Dear Darius Rucker, Jessica Simpson and Kid Rock,

Since when did country music become the dumping grounds for washed up musicians?

Love,
Marie

Dear MySpace Friend Who Has 314 Photographs On Their Profile,

I wonder how many pictures you show your real friends.

Love,
Greg

Dear Toilet Paper,

You're no paper towel.

Love,
Greg

Dear South Beach Diet Approved Can of Nuts,

You didn't really think you were 10 servings did you? Cause I've only counted 3.

Love,
Carrie

Dear Humidity,

I am FIERCELY over you.

Love,
Jami

Dear Woman Whose Survey Got Sent To Me At Work,

Thanks for abbreviating the word association by writing "Ass." I'm not sure if you realized what you were doing, but it sure made me happy.

Love,
Melissa

Dear First Season of Beverly Hills 90210 on DVD,

Dylan you are looking goooood.
Brenda you are lookin rooooough.

Love,
Jenniac

Dear Couple Making Out In Front Of Us At Starbucks,

This is not Six Flags. Please remove your lips from each other's faces and your hands from each other's back pockets.

Love,
Andy and Adam

Dear Guy Wearing A T-Shirt In A Pool,

You're not fooling anyone, buddy.

Love,
Greg

Dear Dignity,

Where were you last night? Missed having you around. Don't worry though, Common Sense wasn't able to make it either.

Love,
Dee

Dear Guy Roller Blading On A Major U.S. Highway,

You be safe out there, buddy. Watch out for side mirrors...those can leave a mark.

Love,
Allan

Dear Rachael Ray,

I have determined it physically impossible to create any of your recipies in 30-minutes. You are a liar.

Love,
Jonathan

Dear Co-Worker In The Next Cubicle,

The sordid details of your husband’s intestinal problems really brightened my Monday.

Love,
Gabriel

Dear Oil Companies,

As much as I’m mad at you, I guess I should thank you for distracting me from how much I’ve been paying for bottled water, batteries, and printer cartridges.

Love,
Greg

Dear Belt That Used To Fit Me Perfectly,

Come on, work with me here.

Love,
Greg