June 29, 2008

Dear Man Who Likes To Ride His Bike Around Town In A Thong,

I hope there is never an emergency where I have to borrow your bike for a while.

Love,
Marie

June 20, 2008

Dear Cute Girl Who Smiled And Waved Enthusiastically As I Was Driving By,

I'm sure you just mistook me for someone else, but that brightened my day. Thank you.

Love,
Andrew

Dear Women Jogging In The Park While Smoking A Cigarette,

No, it doesn't even out.

Love,
Laura

Dear U.S. Post Office Who Won’t Guaranteed 2 Day Delivery, But Will Charge Extra For Trying,

Way to be there.

Love,
John

Dear Retiring Co-Worker,

I will miss you, but not as much as I'll miss the free alcohol provided at the company luncheon to commemorate your departure.

Love,
Lucas

Dear Wal-Mart,

Of course someone farted in the bean aisle.

Love,
Katie

June 10, 2008

Dear Florida Lottery,

Why don't you like my kids' birthdays?

Love,
Rod

Dear Housemates,

I regret to inform you that my milkshake no longer brings all the boys to the yard. I am lactose intolerant.

Love,
T.O.

Dear Woman Walking Into Sex and The City With Two Children Under 10,

Yes, I am judging you.

Love,
Kristin

Dear Boss Who Doesn't Pay Attention To The Suggestions Spell Check Offers,

I know you really mean "inconvenience" but please stop trying to pay me for "incontinence." I really don't pee on myself.

Love,
Valerie

Dear 2 Year Old Daughter,

Why must you ask why?
Why, why, why?!?!?!

Love,
Karen (aka: Mom)

June 04, 2008

Dear Deck Of Cards,

You're lucky I don't have a TV.

Love,
Marie

Dear Sex And The City (The Movie),

How many women do you think watched you and immediately went out and bought a new pair of shoes?

I know I did.

Love,
Marie