Dear Tortilla Chips,

I can't thank you enough for providing me with a way to avoid pouring the salt shaker directly into my mouth in public.

Love,
Marie

Dear People Who Laughed At Me For Never Unpacking My Snowboard Bag Last Year,

Who's laughing now? I'm all packed.

Love,
Marie

Dear Ski Trip I Leave For TODAY(!),

As much as I pride myself on not being a needy person... I need you.

Love,
Marie

Dear Coffee Shop,

You're a chain. You know it. I know it. Now how about some better music?

Love,
David

Dear $85 Biodegradable Yoga Mat,

And all my $20 yoga mat promised to do was last.

Love,
Marie

Dear Graduate School Application,

Studying for the GRE? Essays? What do you think this is... SCHOOL?!?

Love,
Marie

Dear Incessant Sneezing/Nose Blowing,

If it weren't for you, I'd NEVER remember to take my allergy medicine! You're the best.

Love,
Marie

Dear New Year's Resolutions,

I'd rather not start out a new year setting myself up to fail, thankyouverymuch.

Love,
Marie

Dear Allergist I Will See Tomorrow,

It would be hilarious if you tell me I am actually just allergic to kleenex.

Love,
Marie

Dear People Everywhere,

Just because it inflates and is waterproof doesn't mean its a Christmas decoration.

Love,
Marie

Dear New Touch Screen Blackberry (And Touch Screen Everything),

Were humans really struggling that much with buttons?

Love,
Marie

Dear J Crew,

Is it me, inflation, or are you just really big for your britches lately?

Love,
Marie

Dear Katie,

You put the 'busy' in 'busyness school'.

Love,
Marie

Dear Marketing People Behind Blockbuster Rewards Program,

You got $10, I got nothing. Congratulations. You won.

Love,
Marie

Dear Trashcan At Work,

You need to teach my trashcan at home how you magically empty yourself every night.

Love,
Marie

Dear Rental Car Agent Who Told Me To "Humble Myself And Get The Smallest Available Car To Save Money",

Do I know you?

Love,
Marie

Dear Sarah Palin,

Oh where to begin, where to begin!

Love,
Marie

Dear Darius Rucker, Jessica Simpson and Kid Rock,

Since when did country music become the dumping grounds for washed up musicians?

Love,
Marie

Dear MySpace Friend Who Has 314 Photographs On Their Profile,

I wonder how many pictures you show your real friends.

Love,
Greg

Dear Toilet Paper,

You're no paper towel.

Love,
Greg