Dear Phat Tuesday,

Now that's more like it!

Love,
Marie

Dear Arsenio Hall,

We miss you!

Love,
Dave & Jordan

(This would be our first letter from the outside...join the fun, and submit your letters to unsortedmail@gmail.com)

Dear Guy At The Gym With The Napster Logo Tattoo,

I'm embarassed for you.

Love,
Katie

Dear Today,

You went from an 8 to a 6 when I realized my fly had been down for an unknown period of time.

Love,
Katie

Dear Weather.com,

The irony is this: The more I rely on you, the less I believe in you.

Love,
Marie

Dear High School Classmate Who Won't Friend Me Back On Thefacebook.com,

You're still a bitch.

Love,
Katie

Dear Primary Care Physician,

Do you ever feel like people are just using you to get somewhere?

Love,
Marie

Dear Gift Certificate That I Got From My Boss,

I don't think it's funny that I spent you on thank you stationary.

Love,
Katie

Dear Rabbi Who Approached Me In Church,

try this : http://www.yellowpages.com/

Love,
Marie

PS. Your yamaka is off-kilter.

Dear Love,

Is there is a difference between you and being in you?

Love,
Marie

Dear Unsorted Mail Blog,

I'm starting to think in letter form, and it's kind of freaking me out.

Love,
Katie

Dear Friday Night,

Honestly, I've had better...

Love,
Marie

Dear Jagermeister,

I think we could be very happy together.

Love,
Katie

Dear Oatmeal Cream Pie That I Stole From My Former Boss' Snack Drawer,

You were a great choice.

Love,
Katie

Dear Definitely,

The ratio of times that I spell you wrong to the number of times I spell you right is probably 6:1, if I had to guess.

Love,
Marie

Dear Guy That I Passed In Our Office Lobby,

Was that you, Bachelor Bob Guinea? I'm sorry for talking about my muffin top so loudly in the mailroom next door.

Love,
Katie

Dear Venn Diagram,

I'm sorry for hating you in 7th grade math! I now realize that you illustrate so many points so well.

Love,
Marie

Dear Sense of Humor,

If you were a Venn Diagram, me and Katie would be two circles on top of each other.

Love,
Marie

Dear Driver Next To Me At The Stop Light

You know when we realized that we were both singing along to The Pussycat Dolls "Stick Wit You" on the radio? We had a moment.

Love,
Katie

Dear Ligaments in my Right Knee,

You've got to pull yourself together!

Love,
Marie

Dear Olympic Figure Skating Annoucer,

I don't know what you meant by saying "All of these women are skating to Romeo & Juliet, but Sasha IS Juliet," so changed the chanel after throwing up in my mouth a little bit.

Love,
Katie

Dear Nashville,

Would you ever consider moving to DC?

Love,
Marie

Dear Sleep,

I miss you.

Love,
Katie

Dear 2006 Target Weight,

Why do I get hungry everytime I think about you?

Love,
Katie

Dear Guy Next to Me On the Plane With the Magnetic Chess Set,

Not only were you thinking "HUZZAH!" in your head when we landed safely, but you shouted it, too. And that makes up for your mad case of dandruff. Almost.

Love,
Marie

Dear Ashely Parker Angel (aka: My Favorite Member Of O-Town)

Was that your tour bus that just drove by our office? Hotness!

Love,
Katie

Dear The Word Schwing,

I'm all for you making a comeback into everyday language.

Love,
Marie

Dear 6 AM,

Why can't we just get along?

Love,
Marie

Dear Friend Who Included Travis Stork On The Mardi Gras Party Evite,

You are a genuis, and I need a new outfit.

Love,
Katie

Dear Eliptical Machine at the YMCA,

You kicked my ass yesterday.

Love,
Katie

Dear Drive Thru Smoothie Stand,

I like your straws more than your smoothies.

Love,
Marie

Dear Shiner Bock,

You make a delicious dinner...I mean breakfast...I mean beverage...

Love,
Katie

Dear Coworker Down The Hall Who Ordered Fish For Lunch,

Party foul. Big time.

Love,
Katie

Dear People Who Sign Letters with "In His Grip",

I don't think we will ever have that in common.

Love,
Marie

Dear Day Dreams,

Enough with all the Shania in the soundtrack!

Love,
Marie

Dear Plastic Container Of Mixed Nuts Next To My Computer,

Why can't you have more pecans...nobody likes Brazil nuts, and you know it.

Love,
Katie

Dear Cool People Who Are Actually Reading This,

In case you were wondering how this blog got started, here's the IM conversation that go things going:

Katie: I want to start a new blog that is just filled with letters...with entries like "dear jeans, I hate how you stretch out after one wash, love, katie"
Marie: ha haha
Marie: you are so awesome
Katie: dear twix candy bar, why must you be so deliciously crispy, love, KT
Marie: dear paycheck, why dont you come around more often, love marie
Katie: ha ha ha
Marie: mm twix
Marie: dear dc, why must you encourage your men to gel their hair
Katie: I'm going to get one now...and maybe a reeses for the road
Marie: im jealous
Katie: dear matthew mcconaughey, I don't mind that you don't wear deoderant love katie
Marie: make a whole blog of correspondense
Marie: dance...correspondance...or whatever
Katie: you and I should both be able to post on it
Marie: we can write back and forth
Marie: YES
Katie: so what should we call our correspondence co-blog?
Marie: holyguacamole.blogspot.com......... deardiary.blogspot.com........ commodorecorrespondance.blogspot... jk that one is horrible
Marie: ma'ama'a.blogspot
Katie: ha ha ha!!!!!! dadoreddiary.blogspot.com
Marie: jettamamano.blogspot.com
Marie: ha h a
Marie: vucommunication
Marie: wehaveabadfootballteam.blogspot.com
Katie: vanderbiltofficeofcommucationsciences
Marie: laughing OUT LOUD
Katie: mariomooreforever.blogspot.com
Katie: HA HA HA! I am dying, my boss thinks I'm crazy
Marie: dawidprysbewshiki.blogspot.com
Katie: HA HA HA!
Katie: mybossthinksimpsycho.blogspot.com
Katie: singleinthecities.blogspot.com
Marie: ima-gonnagetfiredatthisrate.blogspot
Marie: nosexinthecity
Katie: HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!
Marie: honkytonkbadonkadorks
Katie: oh my god! I am trying so hard not to loose it so that i don't have to explain to boss man what's so funny!
Marie: im convulsing!
Katie: mjgarettwenttovandy.blogspot.com
Marie: mj... soooo blogworthy
Marie: dear gauntlet, do your parents know you're gay, love marie
Katie: dear gauntlet...ha ha
Marie: dear sex, do you miss me too? love marie
Katie: ha ha ha!
Katie: dear ass, remember when you were smaller? love, katie
Marie: dear katie, how are you so hilarious, love marie
Katie: ha ha, whatever!
Marie: dear person reading this, on a scale of 1 to 10 how stinkin funny are we?!?!?!! love us

Love,
Katie & Marie

Dear Readers,

We haven't started this yet so go away!

Love,
Katie & Marie