Dear Unsorted Mail,

I'm sick of thinking in letter form...You make me get on my OWN nerves.

Love,
Sarah

Dear Paul Walker,

If we were to ever have sex, I'd need to put a paper bag over your acting.

Love,
Casey

Dear Microsoft Windows AutoCorrect,

im lost wihtou tyou.

Love,
MArie

Dear Febreeze Bathroom Spray,

Forget what Dr. Phil says. You are the secret to successful relationships.

Love,
Marie

Dear Chik-Fil-A,

After all that I've done for you, and you still treat me like this on Sundays.

Love,
Marie

Dear Mailer-Daemon,

You deserve a vacation.

Love,
Marie

Dear Grown Man Standing Outside Of My Apartment Complex,

The fact that you were so freaked out by my pair of 3 pound yorkie pups that you ran off and lost your shoe when you saw them really disturbs me. So much for a neighborhood watch group.

Love,
Sarah

Dear Mountain Bike With Really Cool Shocks,

You make riding the Indianapolis sidewalks more extreme than ever.

Love,
Scott

Dear Gossiping Co-Workers,

Your constant hen pecking just makes me happier that I'm not you. Have another muffin as you gripe about your husband's roving eye.

Love,
Allison

Dear People Who Begin Sentences With "Well Aren't WE _____..." When They Are Only Talking About Me,

Stop it.

Love,
Marie

Dear Pam & Kid,

So I hear your having a Nashville wedding. Me plus one guest please. Thanks.

Love,
Sarah

Dear Coworker Who Left Spilled Milk In His Mini Fridge For 3 Plus Months And Is Just Now Trying To Clean It,

Dammit Jordan!

Love,
Katie & Everyone Else You Work With

Dear Apartment,

Pack yourself up - I'm leaving you! And let's just say size DOES matter.

Love,
Casey

Dear Inventor Of The Motorized Cooler,

Thank you. Now, I have a classy place to put my Natty Light.

Love,
Scott

Dear Unsorted Mail,

After reading the entirety of your archives last night, my husband is now thinking aloud in letter form only. It's going to make the roadtrip from LA to Houston either totally awesome or really looong. Thanks.

Love,
Sarah

Dear Www.odetojaeger.blogspot.com,

I'm willing to believe Jaeger does deserve its own blogspot.

Love,
Marie

Dear Computer Programming Company Employee Who Will Be Attending A Coworker's Bachelor Party This Weekend,

So instead of getting a stripper will y'all slowly take apart an iMac while "Pour Some Sugar On Me" plays in the background and the iMac rotates around a pole?

Love,
Katie

Dear AP Story "Lance Bass of 'N Sync Reveals He's Gay",

You call that breaking news? Try reporting something I don't already know...

Love,
Katie

Dear Joe Dirt Lookalike At The Astros Game,

Did you really just scream "KISS MY GRITS" at the top of your lungs?

Love,
Steph

Dear Friend Who Wanted To Take Multiple Shots Before A Lunch Date To Calm Themselves Down,

I'm not sure that smelling like tequila at noon is the the best way to get to date #2.

Love,
Katie